The inner workings of my mind: Friends.

I work in my mother’s second-hand bookshop from time-to-time. Okay, fairly regularly, I work there every Wednesday. It’s a smallish, over-stocked, little-slice-of-heaven that I love being involved in. Yet, a seven hour shift from ten til five can feel like an eternity, so I often spend the day finding ways to do anything but the work I’m supposed to do – like price books and put them away (honestly it would take me ten minutes but I love to procrastinate).

Today’s task: write something worth reading for the internet fashion world. 

So for the past five or so hours, I have been sitting on my laptop, connected to my personal hotspot on my iPhone and thereby consequently watching my phone bill sky-rocket, fighting the dreaded writer’s block. 

…I have no idea where to start. Okay, yeah sure, I could write about the David Jones Spring/Summer Launch and tell you that Miranda Kerr looked like a total doll (and damn her for having such an amazing body after baby), and I could tell you that contrasting brights and statement neon pieces are in, but honestly, that’s all I’ve seen this morning on my newsfeed. Bit over it – won’t lie. 

 Miranda Kerr: Total doll

So, instead, I have picked a much easier topic to write about. Me. 

I’m pretty self-absorbed anyway so this is not difficult for me to convey.

Last night I was watching Friends until all hours of the morning, wishing I had mates like Rachel, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey (not Monica – she's annoying) and contemplating how shitty the relationships in my life are. I have a lot of shallow friends.

Let’s get deep.

There are a lot of weird, creepy, rude and personal questions in my Steam Room tumblr inbox. Most I choose to ignore, a lot I giggle at, screenshot and text to my friends and others I'll answer.

Today, my dear friend anonymous asked me about my social life, ‘Do you expand your close circle of friends often, or do you keep outsiders at a distance?”

I felt compelled to answer this with a ‘Why do you give a fuck?’, like how most of the teenage-angsty-yet-to-experience-anything-in-life-tumblr world replies.  In all seriousness though, this is a massive issue for me because to most of the people in the industry I’m involved in, I come across as someone who relies heavily on my social status to get anywhere. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m asking myself a lot of questions about who I am, and the person I wish to become. 

I guess what seems to be my close circle of friends are very much outsiders to me as well. People are constantly suprising me.

I guess people who know of me would argue that I’m very much public person and that everyone knows everything about me because it supposedly everything I do is posted online.

But there’s so much more depth to me than people realise, and it’s really difficult to get to know me at that level.

I’ve come to realise that most people will use you and rarely appreciate you. It’s the moments where they do the opposite of this that really show me who is worth my time.

And the moral of this first post? Don’t hate, appreciate.

G, x.