I hate the world. And you.

The reason why I asked for people to tell me what pissed them off in a Facebook status is because I had zero opinion about anything today. I’m tired, I’m at work while the sun is shining outside in the glorious spring weather and my hair is disgusting. Yeah, screw you haters. Today,  I just don’t care about life.

Once you guys started listing everything that is wrong with the world, I somehow found a passion, a reason to live...messed up right. As an ex-boyfriend once told me whilst we were still dating, “you’re so fucked”. NB: the end of that statement was actually, "...up that no one will ever want you." ASSHOLE.  

Cue rant.

I really wanted to talk about how much I bloody hate Pitbull and Flo Rida because combined, they have managed to destroy every single song in the history of the world. And I really hate people who drive in the right hand lane at 40km/h. The massive sign says KEEP LEFT UNLESS OVERTAKING for a reason. And I really wanted to rant about how much I hate keyboard warriors who troll over Facebook and think they are amazing because they get a thousand likes.

Yes today I hate the world.

There’s nothing wrong with relationships. If you want to have one, by all means, go right ahead. I hope you are very happy together. At this stage in my life, it’s not for me. I can’t compromise or risk losing one ounce of my individuality. Just this mental blockade I have.

Don’t get me wrong. I love those nights in where you cuddle up to someone and watch movies and do nothing…and then that nothing either turns into a bit of somethin’ somethin’ or you end up falling asleep and drooling all over each other. 

That bit where you start talking about, ‘where the relationship is at’, or put any sort of label on it? I’m out.

Yeah, I have the mentality of a dude.

But the main reason I can’t do relationships, is because I can’t fucking handle PDA’s.

Eat shit and die.

Interestingly, I’m a complete fiend for big romantic gestures and even little ones… as long as you don’t make out in front of me or call each other baby in that annoying whingey tone. Agh, I can't stand that teenage couple - the girl in black and white striped leggings - that makes out using SO MUCH TONGUE in the middle of the shopping centre, or on seat in front of me on the train. I don’t want to see your tongue in his mouth. I don’t even like it when I see that in porn. I DON’T EVEN ENJOY THAT MUCH TONGUE IN MY OWN MOUTH. 

I strictly maintain that the tongue has better uses elsewhere. Like for talking or on an ice cream. Or for downstairs sexy time. 

Each to their own, if you enjoy eating each other’s faces by all means, just please don’t do it in a public forum.

Or ever. 

SopheClare x