How to: Avoid Clinger Situations

The clinger. A classic term used to describe the over-eager and ready-to-please individual whose sole focus and priority is on you. 

This usually occurs when a chick and a dude or a chick and a chick or a dude and a dude start dating and one half of the relationship develops an obsession with becoming the most important person/thing in your life. And always tries just that little bit too hard for the situation to be reversed.

I’m not going to lie. I was an A-grade clinger though high-school. It started when I was thirteen.  I think it had something to do with my body changing, becoming a woman and all that. Boys began to take notice of me. I was no longer that competitive and over-achieving chubby kid with the short blonde hair. I now had boobies, I wore a bra (10AA) and I wore too much eye-liner and willingly had ‘slutties’ as my main hair-style of choice. I think I was trying to look like Christina Aguilera. (You know, back when she was all durrrrty and not fat).   I thought I was gorgeous and I was desperate to make out with a dude. 

In hindsight, I looked like fucking shit, and it’s now the stage of my life I’ve deemed as the awkward part.

Regardless, I somehow managed to score a boyfriend. It was all “I Lv U bBy gAl” and I was ranked number one in his MySpace friends. Despite my constant efforts to be the number one in his life, he still dumped me two weeks later via text. I’ll never forget the heartbreak I experienced when my Nokia 3315 told me it was over. My MSN name became “</3 </3 Soph </3 </3 mY <3 is black” ( or something to that effect), and thereby began the emo stage of my life. To be fair, it wasn’t a real relationship, as we didn’t physically lay eyes on each other once, but the hurt was still real.

I think all girls go through a stage in their life where they are obsessive. Some just haven’t realised how to turn ‘cling’ mode off in a relationship.  The way I did it was simple. Get single and go party. Live your life.

Clingers, the simple truth is sometimes that other people just have better things to do then spend every waking minute with you. It’s not because you’re not amazing, you are. It’s purely because sometimes there’s a better offer on the table. I’m twenty-one and I thoroughly enjoy doing what I want to do without having to check to see if it’s okay with someone else.  And even if I was in a serious relationship, I would still be doing my own thing. (#yolomutherfuckers)

There’s a type two clinger though. The friends who cling. This is the type I can’t deal with very well.

These are the friends that always want to hang out and always want to see you and always text you. That doesn't sound bad, but its scary.

You know what, sometimes I just can’t be bothered to reply. Texting takes it out of me.

Granted, I still have my needy days. I still want and need to be loved. And sometimes I might even adore the constant messaging, but for most part I need my space and I am completely understanding of the fact that people are busy. You clingons should try it.

And another thing, if you wanna’ be my friend, (do it – I like new friends) you better know how to have a good time, smile often, and not be a sook.

Soph x